I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
