im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize