i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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