I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
