Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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