listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
