To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize