John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
