Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
soo... how was my night?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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