You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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