Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
