I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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