He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
