margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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