What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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