i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize