Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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