dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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