we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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