I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
