you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
