woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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