called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
