yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
