I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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