id be glad to
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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