Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
