I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
