im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
