3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize