I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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