Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
