they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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