Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
