I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
