I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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