I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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