well you can't waste a boner
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
