fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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