i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
