what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
