So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize