I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I need to calm my uterus...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
