one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
