I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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