We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
