I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
