he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
