you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
