The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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