don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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