You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
