I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize