and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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