remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
