i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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