you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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