he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
