I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
