I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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