Where did you get a picture of my penis
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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