I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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