He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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