I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.