You really coming over, don't trick.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"