If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
