the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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