you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
