This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
