hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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