Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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