she is the kim kardashian of front butts
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
