if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
