he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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