How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
