suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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