judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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