why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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